Politics and Parenting for a Peaceful World
NY Times “The Cruelty of Call-Out Culture” Jan. 14, 2019 by David Brooks – Opinion Columnist
Naomi Aldort’s reflection:
Until we break the cycle of right and wrong, and “us” versus “them”; we cannot have peace or achieve real human progress no matter how peaceful the ideas. The NY Times article points fingers at the people who publicly “execute” those they see as, “wrong.” Yes, their action is violent. However, the article too is more division and shaming just like what it presents; taking sides and ganging on the mythical ‘other’.
When I teach parenting about siblings’ rivalry and marriage, I always say: Bring peace by not taking sides. Each human being has a valid reason for their ways; one that requires care – not punishment.
Therefore, yes, these young people are busy witch-hunting and public shaming, but they are sure that they are doing the right thing, just like the ‘others’ are sure of their point of view. It is how they were raised (not the parents’ fault either, as they too were raised this way with the best of intentions. There is no fault to be found – only connection and understanding.) Blaming the former generation is just more war. Will you be the first to take a turn toward peace? That is what it takes; being the one.
Most people are raised to be righteous about something: Righteous about a religion, righteous about veganism, righteous about correct behavior, education, success, academics, clothing, how to be compassionate, ecology, race, gender, liberalism, conservatism… all good and valid themes, but as long as we take sides and see the “other” as “wrong,” we are perpetuating what we condemn and we raise people who repeat the creation of division and therefore violence/war. This paradigm of, ”We” (the good ones) and “they” (the bad ones) is war in the making.
There are no such divisions other than in the divisive, righteous, innocent but confused mind.
The way to end the vicious cycle of violence is to move away from taking sides and dividing and develop compassion based in unity and humility instead. That “other person” is as good as you are. Commit to finding out how and why and you will start peace and create change. Start by realizing that no human being is above or below anyone else. Only ego imagines degrees of value.
For example: Are mammals more valuable than plants? Only a mammal’s ego can think this way (innocent mistake; how can we know?) Or: Is the weed-less valuable than the cultivated flower? Only the human mind grades plant for its own ego gratification of consumption or beauty. Reality has no such division.
There are no weeds in the plant world, nor in the animal and human world. Yes, some people suffer so much that they are not safe for themselves or others. They cannot operate in compassion because they are not conscious of the horror that hijacked their minds. And yes, we need to care for them in a way that protects others, while nurturing them back to mental health; not by adding even more pain to their twisted experience, but by healing and restoring their humanity.
I teach this principle of unity in parenting and it brings peace; always. All sibling rivalry resolves when parents follow my guidance on how to never take sides and only offer confirmation, connection, listening, and awareness of unity. There are no “they” out there. It is all “we.”
The people criticized in this NY-times article are obviously used to division, judgment, and evaluations. They don’t feel good about themselves without finding fault in another (a me better than them paradigm). That worked for them as children. Unfortunately, this NY-times article repeats the offense and offers more condemnation; no relief and no compassion to help people regain connection.
The relief is here: Join me on social media and in life, workshops, and sessions, within your families and friends and online; let us find the valid reason for each person’s passions, and connect with them rather than condemn them. Always start with yourself and your loved ones.
Kindness is the key to “restarting” humanity on a peaceful path, creating music, dance, beauty, art, literature, and innovation – not weapons and no methods of control and planetary devastation.
Kindness is forgiveness and true forgiveness is the ability to see that there is nothing to forgive. It is easy to see when you are the one blamed, and you know well that you did your best and didn’t mean harm. You know you deserve forgiveness; so does everyone else.
If you wish to create such a path of unity and peace, start right now with you. Start checking inside of you by finding the places of righteousness that make you see another as not part of you. Then work on yourself to debunk and heal the unquestioned concepts that feed these painful beliefs.
If you need help, book a session with me. Together we can heal humanity, one magnificent self at a time.
Copyright Naomi Aldort, all rights reserved. Jan. 2019