I have, since the birth of my boy, been firmly committed to fostering secure attachment and following the tenets of attachment parenting. Your book has spoken more deeply to me than most in the space of child care—the gentleness of your voice, the wisdom it carries, and the reverence it holds for the child—this, all of this, makes me return to your words.
Thank you. Your advice has been a gift.
Dharini Bhaskar, India
You are truly gifted in your line of work, Naomi (Not that you needed my opinion). I hope your work lives on in the hearts and minds of everyone you touch. I’m sharing your interview to my Facebook page.
Thank you for your insight. As always, I am a better father after your feedback. Sam is thriving. And so are River and Piper.
We absolutely loved the consultation, received so much from it and have been applying bits of what was discussed bits at a time. It also reminded Me to go re-read parts of your book. It has been about 3 years.
We will reach out to reschedule next month. We feel like about once every 4-6 weeks works for us at this time if that works for you.
Thank you, Naomi, for the video. It was very useful and interesting. I wish the society had the same values as yours. You are the great teacher on parenting and life management that’s why your videos and books are a gift to people. The pressure from other people is something huge on young moms and dads anf your support is very important. Thank you for that.
I purchased your book when my kids were little and it was good to find someone whose ideas make sense and me wanting and feeling the need to be such a parent, appreciated alot your book. Your book was a real help however there were not enough explication on how to do things, what exactly not to do and do what instead. So this free video is a great support and very useful for the readers of your book.
Thank you again.
Love Naomi! About 9 years ago I participated in your workshop in the Montessori school in Augsburg, Germany and this day changed my life 🙂 Now 9 years later, I also want to coach mothers to raise their children with love and authenticity.
I love your book and now I started again reading it and I´m looking forward to be soon able to help other women 🙂 thank you very very much, you inspirated me so so much, I have two wonderful boys (7 and 10) and till today each day I spent with them was inspirated by your wise words. 🥰
(Alice is Italian and does not speak English fluently):
It was a huge pleasure to have met you at the Zoom session! You are so reassuring and positive!!
I experimented the breastfeeding with Greta. So when as soon ad we finished the call she said to me: “what are you said Naomi?” and I told her the game of loosening the force in sucking in breastfeeding, so we did it and ask me if it was okay to suck so lightly, I said YES! and at the end of the feeding she exclaimed:
THANK YOU NAOMI
And that’s is what I say to you!
We have others issues to report to you and definitely we will do another session with you.
Alice e Andrea
I wanted to let you know that I am so grateful for all the wisdom and insights you’ve shared with me in our sessions. I am working hard to implement them in our lives. I already see that Aaron is slowly growing in confidence being around other people, including older children. It’s lovely to see these interactions with older children. I only hope more people find your teachings, because every child deserves it and the world needs it!
Thank you so much…
Just finished interview #4 with parenting guide extraordinaire Naomi Aldort. Parents, if you need guidance at all, Naomi is your answer. Her approach to parenting honours your child like no other approach does, at least that I have seen. She will help transform your relationships within the home. Her excellent book “Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves” is a must for the bookshelf! Please check out her site: www.naomialdort.com
I have huge concern around the lack of advocacy for our children in these times, and if ever there was an advocate for children, it is Naomi. Another one I can’t wait to release!
– Sascha Kalivoda
Just to tell you something important, there is no day that I do not think about what you teach me! There is no day since I met you that I do not say I really like Naomi , she changed my life. Our relationship is much better, we both realise when we make errors and things that are not nice. I try not to make them, I am more patient with Digba and Melodi. ” I do not explode so quickly”.
I am really improving day by day and I keep reminding myself each day
Hope to get in touch with you soon for something , will see 🙂
for now you are very fine healer and I love you
– 49 year old father
I am forever grateful to you for your presence in my life. Your simple act of introducing me to The Work and then introducing me to another mother who was one of your clients has rippled into the world in a most wonderful way. I wanted you to know what you have inspired me to do.
Before I knew you and before I started practicing The Work, seven years ago, my life was what I would call a hopeless rollercoaster; childbirth in my early 40’s, menopause, Attachment Parenting with no balance, arguments with my husband… I woke up each morning fearing I would not have the strength to make it happily through my day.
Then, I started seeing glimpses of light when I met you and started doing The Work with you. More and more peace would enter into a place where, before, would have created a conflict. I remember thinking, “What was happening?” It was so subtle, so much like I wasn’t trying to do anything better, it was just getting better, way better. My life was changing right before my eyes.
I will never forget our family intensive at your home in 2009. It started me out on a path, after which a momentum, a flow, a beautiful way of being started to build. And I attribute the quickness and the beauty to one primary factor: With your introduction of me to one of your clients who lived in my hometown, I had found a partner to do The Work with on a regular basis.
– Catherine Weiss
Again a million thanks for another eye opening session. I am amazed at how much parenting is not about the child but about the parent and it is so relieving to be able to see it and therefore take steps to change oneself for the benefit of everyone.
Thanks so much for helping me see and for helping me become not only a better mother but at a better person.
Lots of love to you and your incredible family and happy thanksgiving.
I asked a question tonight about meeting the needs of my five children. Thanks you for the beautiful words. I feel calm and free for the first time in a very long time. I put so much pressure on myself to keep a clean home with three healthy cooked meals. I have been putting food and housr over my children. They do receive love and care, but now they will get more.
I had put so much that I learned from your book and dvd’s into my two older boys. Now I have gained perspective that will give my triplets and older boys more. I am eternally grateful.
One day I hope to save up for a phone session. You really have made a difference.
All the best to you,
– Kari Frazier, Seattle, WA
We have to let you know how much your services have impacted our lives. I have experienced huge relief since our last session. I feel so much more connected to Stephen and Ainsley, and especially myself. By no means is everything perfect but I just feel like my brain is taking me hostage a little less. I am so committed to reprogramming things up there and embrace the long journey ahead of me. We just finished celebrating Thanksgiving with my extended family and both couldn’t stop thinking about how grateful we are for you and the work you do. It warms my heart to think of of you expanding the hearts of so many families across the world. As a long time political and social activist I think the work that you are doing will have one of the most profound impacts on our society.
Maybe you won’t remember but I just wanted to let you know that since our conversation about a year ago ( on harming myself) your words have made the biggest impact and change in my life. You told me “instead of trying to release the pain in the harmful way I was ( which wasn’t releasing it) why not sit with it, why fight it when pain can be our greatest teacher)” since that conversation I have not harmed myself ever again but “sat” with the emotions and it has led me to writing song after song which I have been posting up on sound cloud which other people have also been benefitting from. I felt it was only fair to write and thank you and tell you about this as your words of wisdom helped to start the ball of composition rolling.
Many many thanks and much love
I’ve been meaning to share this with you for a long time. As you know, we had problems with our child and accidents (peeing and pooping in the house). Together, we looked at a number of possible explanations. There was some improvement but the behavior continued.
Then we talked at the session about his diet. Although we’d never included refined sugar in his diet, he was having a lot of sugar in the form of raw honey and dried fruit. When I cut these out of his diet the accidents stopped completely. I didn’t make the connection at first. It came to me only when he had some unseasonal or dried fruit again and the accidents returned immediately.
Also, I noticed a significant change in his general behaviour. Sleep improved dramatically and, interestingly, there was also a substantial reduction in power play. Taonga no longer uses diapers, not even at night.
Thank you so much for helping us to bring about such an amazing shift.
WOW! You rock my world last Friday.
Sending you blessings and love,
– Julie Deslandes
Today, the day after our session, for the first time in many years, I feel in control of my day. The irony is that it is happening because I am showing Jonathan how he can take control of his day. We both are already experiencing new freedom.
We are releasing the grip we have had on each other, while getting closer and understanding ourselves and each other better. When I am clear about my needs, even if only implied by my behavior ( I don’t have to articulate it, just behave it), he feels free. Acknowledging my own rights does not take away from Jonathan’s rights. It gives him power to acknowledge himself.
Jonathan’s friend today has said some very inappropriate things directly to Jonathan. Instead of judging the friend, getting worked up about it, and getting very preachy about behavior, I simply used your rain metaphor (we cannot change reality) and showed Jonathan a way to walk away from the comment without fighting and without being offended. In the past the friend’s comment certainly could have done some damage. This time it was over as quickly as it started.
P.S. Your non-condemning way of helping me is the best way to help someone change. I feel you never judge me or my mistakes, and that is wonderfully liberating. Thank you.
– Victoria Kheler
It’s been tremendously helpful and enlightening speaking with you. I am forever grateful and I look forward to speaking with you again.
Second week after session: I am happy to say that our family has had the best week ever. Not a single moment of fear, conflict or aggression. We are laughing, playing, and just being together in peace. I feel I have a new freedom because I am being true to myself while empowering Jonathan to be true to his reality.
The transformation from frustration and anger to freedom and peace is largely because I am acknowledging my inner desires. This is hard for me because I spent a life time being loved for my musical skills and pleasing people with my performances (yes, I have read Alice Miller’s book. It’s all about me!). I am amazed that honoring my self brings freedom to the people I love, it does not take away from them!!
Learning to stand up for myself will make it much easier for me to stand up for Jonathan. And thank you for encouraging me to “Dare to be me.” I have amazing instincts, as all people do, but I have suppressed them, trying to do what is right in the other person’s view. Until now I have allowed other people to have rights over myself.
Until last session my own behavior has been very predictable (Jonathan and I disagree, I blow my top, we all cry). That was relatively easy to change. My challenge now is to bring this peace and self awareness to all aspects of my life. I’ll be talking with you soon, thank goodness!
I thank you from all my heart, Naomi. You are a beautiful person and the world needs you!!! I am so grateful for you in my life.
May you be richly blessed all ways,
– Victoria Kheler
I had to share this with you: Last week we were on holiday at the sea. Taonga (now almost 3) likes to climb in his car seat by himself but my husband, in his rush, picked him up and put him in his car seat. Taonga said: “I don’t want to be picked like the dead bird picked up in that net” (pointing to his little/toy beach fishing net). I don’t think Munkonge will do that again…Isn’t it beautiful when our young ones can communicate so eloquently how they feel?
All the best to you and thank you for enriching our lives
I just wanted to drop a quick note to say thank you for the phone session Sunday on developing my daughter’s interest in music. Your tone and attitude were so reassuring, and I’m already really looking forward to the hours of fun we’ll have together. 😉 We’ve already tried some of the games already – it’s fantastic and I wonder why something similar didn’t occur to me earlier, but I often find that major discoveries seem just like that – almost too good to be true!
Thank you and best wishes,
– Helen Chang
This email is overdue as my husband and I both expected to continue to need your mediation on a regular basis when we last spoke to you. So now I want to thank you and let you know we are doing much better as a married couple and as a family. Your sessions last year pulled us away from the edge of misery. It is as if we’ve been fitted with a pair corrective eye lenses and are seeing clearly for the first time, the year has not been without work mind you but their is a lot more forgiveness and a lot less judgment. We are both able to reflect at times of struggle and give each other the space needed to come back to peace. I feel we are partners now: friends to help each other. I didn’t feel this before. This is the gift you’ve given us and it is a blessing.
Things in our home life have changed completely as we’ve decided it will be a good time to switch roles. I have started back at work full time, while Sol has quit and is staying home full time to homeschool our girls. I am confident he will do a great job. I really love the analogy you told us about thinking of your spouse as a cat at times when they do not perform as you would like or do as you would do. I fully expect my husband to be like a cat at times in his new job but I also see that he will be even better than me at other times. Thank you for the lessons.
– Sonya Feinberg
We enjoyed our call with you tonight. We feel more strength and more peace. I feel I will be able to make some changes without condemning myself. Jonathan (6) especially felt great about having a chance to speak with you, and he is really thinking about what you said about making the world a better place. For many years Jonathan used to say, “when I’m forty, I am going to make the world a better place.” After speaking with you, I don’t think he wants to wait that long!
With heartfelt gratitude,
– Victoria Kehler, NH
Thank you for coming and and sharing your life’s learning with me and my family.
I have learned so much from those five days together. While you were here and every day since, I am been more able to find and see that people are “right”. Everyone is always right. My children are right. My Dad is right. The rapist is right. I am right! This simply means that there is a reason for everything we do. The reason for our behavior isn’t good or bad, it just is.
This freedom from judgment gives me much peace and relief from pain guilt, anxiety and fear. Without judgement, I am free from conflict, conflict with self and others. As I face what would otherwise be a conflict with my children, my wife, my employees, myself and the world at large, just knowing that they, I, we are right removes much of the anxiety and enables me to be more objective. Further more, if I can identify how they, I, we are right, I am far more able to come up with an effective and mutually beneficial approach to any given situation.
Each one of us have different different experiences and prospectives associated with your time here. I will encourage others to communicate their experiences with you.
– Elend LeBaron, LiquaDry
In regards to the session I had with you about a month ago I changed the way I was ‘validating’ my daughter. I stopped adding the part that must have been upsetting her. It works amazingly. Also I am taking time to spend with her and our relationship has once again started to get closer.
– Vashti Samuel
I just wanted to thank you for your wisdom and guidance regarding my Jan 31 phone session. One of the highlights of the session was a surprise one. My 8 year old son who has not slept in our “family bed” since he was about 2 years old because he chose not to or I thought he chose not to because he “obediently” went to bed in his own room as he was told and seemed very happy about it (at that time in my life I thought that children should sleep in their own beds at least most of the time). I would ask him now and then, when Dad was away at work, if he wanted to sleep with me and he always said no, he was fine. The main objective of my phone session was to get more detailed information on unschooling regarding reading, etc. I had no idea that our sleeping arrangements were an issue whatsoever. When you asked about our sleeping arrangements and then told me that you would have suggested six years ago not even having a bed available for him, I left the session with an uneasy feeling that because of his easy-going nature, perhaps he felt deep down that he had no choice in the matter. So, after the phone session, I shared with him everything we talked about and asked him if starting now he would like to sleep in our bed and he agreed. He now sleeps with us every night and I think he took on a new sense of security and peace in doing so. I feel that he subconsciously must have felt like he was being left out – Mom, Dad and little brother all together and him exiled to another room all alone. Now the thought of him being in his room all alone seems so wrong. Being 8 years old instead of him not needing us in that way, he probably needs our closeness even more because he no longer sits on our laps, gets as many hugs and as much physical contact as a younger child naturally receives. This was such an expected gift and eye opener as a result of the session and a strong reminder to really let my growing children, not just little children and babies, feel the love of their parents in a physical, affectionate way.
The other highlight was also somewhat of a surprise. I didn’t realize that I exposed my children to so much violence – I really thought they were immersed in a peaceful atmosphere until you pointed out that the books and movies we were embracing were not a good idea [Star Wars (okay it has the word war in it and I still didn’t get the message), Chronicles of Narnia series, Batman and Spiderman superheroes, etc.] Rather than focusing on battles between good guys and bad guys we will now seek goodness in all and avoid books that focus on good vs bad and look for gentleness and goodness in all. I then went through our own library in our home and found a treasure of wonderful books such as these. One excellent book we are now reading together that I would recommend is Abel’s Island by William Steig. It is a story of a mouse, Abelard, who gets swept away and stranded on an island while trying to rescue his wife’s scarf. Abel’s life of leisure that he was used to conceals a soul full of courage, determination, and acceptance of what he cannot change, once faced with the necessity of surviving. It is an excellent piece of literature filled with grace, warmth and insight. There is not one bad guy in it!
– Katherine MacKenzie
Thanks for your words Naomi. It is such a gift to have them appear, always at the right time. i am in some really deep and amazing Work at the moment so it is particularly appreciated.
I had a lovely experience much like the one you recount. We have an amazing unschooled teenage boy in our life, who has been spending an afternoon a week with my 5 year old son since he was a baby. Early in knowing him, he was in our garden playing with Finn, and the neighbor children came over and were singing ‘stupid Caulder’ at him over and over. I came out and told them to stop in an agitated way. He looked at me so calmly and sweetly and said ‘it’s ok Caitlin, i already know I’m not stupid.’ and went back to playing with my son. it was profound for me and i will always remember it. When people judge me or insult me, and i start to react, I think of him and smile (and then do a sheet!). What you say is so true and beautiful.
I am so grateful for this work and all the other lovely folks who share in it.
I wish you a lovely island summer.
– Caitlin Frost