Naomi Aldort Answers a Question About Giving Clear Limits Without Struggle

Here is the translation of the question:

“Naomi,
In your book, there is a description of a situation, where you are leaving with your 4-year-old to play outside with a ball, but suddenly, the telephone rings and you find out that a client of yours needs consultation immediately. After you tell your son that you are not going anywhere, he asks you about the reason why not, and after you explain it to him, he runs away happily to play in his room. You also give other situations where you describe your sons, who were raised without orders and restrictions, rewards and punishments, as balanced, peaceful and happy children who were very polite in public. Nevertheless, many parents who have been inspired by your ideas, experience something completely different: their children are bossy and overbearing towards their parents, yell at them and even hit them sometimes, and they do not let them talk peacefully to a friend for a moment, whenever something is different from what they wished for, they throw an awful tantrum. They definitely do not give the impression of happy and cheerful children. What is the problem?”