Transforming Parent-Child Relationships from reaction and struggle to Freedom, Power & Joy
Everyone had trauma whether a one time bang or years of repeated subtle oppression.
It can be like a permanent triger points waiting to be pushed, or, dead buttons.
When we had trauma or even just painful or confusing childhood, we often believe that we can spare our children what happened to us. Yet, as parenting challenges grow with age, a parent, to her/his own dismay, my find a emotional wound that brings on unwanted and even unkind reactions towards the child.
The child has no frame of reference = identification is automated. The pain becomes the frame of reference. Mind is a recording, a film. Here are some of the points covered in this interview and in my work with parents in zoom sessions and workshops:
- To retain the secure image of the parent, child blames herself. “My loving parent is hurting me; I must be bad.“
- Don’t call it spanking
- Guilt and shame
- Triggered by similar situations and behaviors
- Realizing that its not your fault
- Enlightened witness can save the child
- It takes a village, community
- Healing is not wallowing in it.
- Expressing and questioning the truth:
- Its not your fault
- Stopping the past from dictating the present emotions: Its over
- Your thoughts are not you. Its a recording, a persistent one
- Learning to stop the recording from playing is by questioning it
- Stopping feeding the automated replay.
- No denial YET: No pampering.
- The Work of Byron Katie to the help.
- CBT engaging with what you’ve been avoiding
- How to forgive, when ready, for your sake
To reach Naomi Aldort for a private online session.
